all you see here are negative and bad entries

sometimes, you just need a breath of fresh air.

to turn things around, that is.

open your eyes, and you will see

fucking irritated. what makes you hate my race so much. what do I have to show YOU to make all of you understand that though we are of the same race, we are not of the same kind. THEY were the ones who chose to be like that, to be uncivilised, uneducated, and down right ugly. However I chose to carve out my life to be a good man, to do good.

And yet most people choose to portray an image of myself as a typical malay MAT. now i'm telling you, i'm different. you may have heard that coming from others, but i can tell you i don't sit under the void deck smoking and drinking away while playing the guitar, i don't have tattoos of dragons or whatsoever, i don't make other people's daughters pregnant, i don't live off my folks' money, i didn't drop out of school and do odd jobs, i don't colour my hair and have strange piercings, i don't wear tapered pants, i don't act rowdily on public transportation, and i definitely don't have a dozen of profanities in each sentence i speak. if that's what you think of us, then you're definitely seeing the other side.

I, for you information, do not fall in any of those categories.

So which of these elements make me your typical portrayal of a gangster mat?

its you that makes me, me.

pondering over small little problems for a prolonged period isn't good. its ironic how i persuade people to talk their problems out, offering a listening ear and shoulder to cry on if need be, but in turn keeping all my problems to myself, not wanting anyone to be burdened with knowing what i'm going through.

life's full of ups and downs. you just know how to live with it. friends and family are there to make life more interesting, are meaningful.

random, i know, but somehow jotting this down reminds myself that life is worth living, one moment at a time.

all work and no play makes Wednesday a dull boy

econs maths econs maths econs maths econs maths econs maths econs maths econs maths econs maths econs maths econs maths econs maths econs maths econs maths econs maths econs maths econs maths econs maths econs maths econs maths econs maths econs maths econs maths econs maths econs maths.

that's all that is running through my mind at the moment.

classes are so fast paced that the 3 hours in the lecture theater seemed like a fraction of the time. lecture mates who i don't know and haven't spoke to yet, invited me to join them for lunch. nice people of course. maybe because i'm the only guy of the minority race in class?

stanchart marathon, you are the greatest challenge for me this year. i will overcome you. cos on 1st january 2010, i vowed to conquer you. muahahahaha.

don't lie to me

hopeless romantic indeed

imma chargin' ma lazer

desires are dangerous. you want them, but then again, you ask yourself, is it a need, or is it a want. and then you back away, probably regretting the decision after some time.

then again, buying things on impulse, is also very dangerous, because... you know why.

and an interesting moment to share. a lady and i were trying to go through a door, so naturally, you'll let the lady pass through first, and open the door for her. so that's exactly what i did, with no other intentions other than to open the door and walk through, and of course give a little smile.

but this lady's boyfriend/fiancé/husband/asshole was on the other side of the glass door and apparently, thought that i was hitting on the lady. he shot me a stare, grabbed the lady's hand and walked away.

what a jerk. these men do exist.

out with the fun, in with the stress

now that the awesome weekends are over, its back to problematic recruits, counselling the troubled ones and screwing the naughty ones. a new bunch of PES C2C9's aka recruits with medical problems coming in on tuesday, and to top it off, bridging classes officially kick off this coming weekend.

let's do this.

helping hand

i want to end poverty, but not in a million years would i ever be able to do such a feat. the rich get richer, the poor get poorer. what can i, an average singaporean, be able to do to help these people?

you know, i'm in the spirit of community involvement these days, and the experience has been enjoyable. i feel like going to cambodia or maybe be a bit adventurous and travel to africa, and do a little charity work. its gonna be fun, for me at least.

zonked

now tell me, where the hell am i gonna fork out 17k.

hell of a mad bull

Bad day, bad day.

Now tell me, how sensible is it, to keep and look after a pet hamster, 3 in fact, in your camp's bunk. What baffles me, is why put in the extra effort to buy a hamster playground cage thingy, and all the other necessities, just so you can house some fuckin hamsters somebody gave you, in the bunk.

And with that, not coming down to assist in lessons, not taking care of the trainees, and not being fucking responsible enough to tell us where you disappeared to. Tell me, what is your primary jobscope? To look after fucking hamsters?

You can't look after the trainees well, and now you want to look after pets? YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME. Yes guys, these 'instructors' are doing all this shit.

So where in the bunk do you keep the cage? Oh, that clean corner over there, which also happens to be right next to my fucking bed and locker. Clean no more, it now stinks and its terribly dirty.

Ok so during lunch, everyone takes a nap on their beds. But i fucking can't even close my eyes without getting distracted by the squeaks and the fucking instructors playing with their pets just beside me.

So i fucking go to the office, and take a nap on the sofa.

What next? Half an hour later, all of them boarded the bus to go to the place where they are supposed to do some community shit, and left me in the office. The admin peeps came in, and asked me why i didn't leave with the rest, and i had no fucking idea why they didn't even realise i wasn't with them.

At the end of the day, you just can't vent your anger on anyone. They could still ask me why i wasn't angry. As a matter of fact, i was infuriated. I just sucked it in. I fucking sucked it in.

You put on that smile, when you know deep down inside you just want to gorge someones eyes out and feed it to the alligators.

So guys, when feeling angry, hit the gym. Go for a run. You'll be amazed how anger can make you lift heavier weights, and run extra miles. Trust me, i just did.